I have a philosophy in life….Say Yes to the Universe. That willingness to step outside the routines of my life, take on risky new adventures and face new challenges has rewarded me in so many unexpected and highly fulfilling ways. There is a magical power in saying yes to the universe.
But I am not a fool. There is also a power in saying no. Not “no” to the universe. But I must have the wisdom to say no to external requests and urgings that don’t align with the universe. I must be able to discern the source of any impulse or inclination that emerges in my life. I must discriminate whether the source of this inclination is from the universe, or is it an ego-based persuasion….stemming from my own ego or someone else’s influence on me.
That’s not always easy to discern. I didn’t always have that level of discernment. And so frequently in my past, I would find myself down a rabbit hole struggling in self-sabotaging predatorial quicksand in so many untold ways. But I now have a remedy to avoid the ego-based lurings….. Awareness, Assertiveness, and Accessing the power of “No”.
When I’m faced with a new opportunity, or an impulse to go in a certain direction, or maybe a persuasive request by someone, I take the time now to tune in…I engage my mental faculties….what are the pros and cons, what are the possible outcomes, what kind of investment of my time and/or money might this require? But I don’t stop there…I engage my heart energies…how does this make me feel? Is it a fulfilling type of commitment? Does it serve a broader, higher purpose? Or is it a potentially draining type of commitment? This sounds like a deliberate methodic analytical process…but it’s not…It’s an organic process for me. It just happens. If it feels right, I say yes.
If I don’t see or feel red flags during the initiating stages of a new adventure or a new relationship, I take the first steps moving forward, knowing that the rest of the steps will become increasingly clear as I continue moving forward. It’s critical however to stay in the present moment, maintaining constant awareness and reflection about the energies I feel in any endeavor or relationship. Sometimes, what started off as a promising new adventure, suddenly begins to reveal red flags later on in the experience. Oh my.
In my past, I ignored the red flags. I down played them. I pretended they didn’t exist. And you can guess the result of this folly….holy hell ensued. Each and every time. I don’t do that anymore. I maintain awareness throughout the process. I don’t continue down a rabbit hole when I recognize it as a rabbit hole. I ask myself, what is the universe telling me now? Have things shifted? With that awareness of what the universe is revealing to me, I assert the power to say no. Without guilt. Without profuse explanations. Just the power to say….this is no longer efficient, this is no longer productive, this is no longer useful, this is no longer effective, this is no longer purposeful. I won’t do it anymore. And I confidently walk away.
The ability to say no without guilt, without extraneous explanations, without feeling like a failure or a disappointment …..is my definition of freedom. I will always step out in faith to say yes to the universe. But I will also step into my power to say no when it’s not my path to follow.
This is my commitment to the universe….I choose to value priorities in my life, I choose to be kind and helpful to others whenever I possibly can, and I choose to gracefully let go of things not meant for me. As Dr. Seuss says, we must be who we are and we must say what we feel because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.